I’m either biting my tongue or feeling bad that I blurted something out at one of my daughters. More often than I’d like. My girls always say, “Oh, you’re the best mom”. But I know better: not always.
I recently read a post by another mom, a terrific writer who fills her numerous blogs with all kinds of “great mother” articles: gardening, cooking, natural parenting, crafting, just the kind of articles that make the reader (me) feel inadequate that I’m not doing those kinds of things on a regular basis in MY house.
But in this particular post, the blogger, wonderful Lauren Wayne of Hobo Mama, took a pause from the fabulous parent posts to write Why I am not as fabulous a parent as my blog suggests. Wow. Now there’s a title I can relate to. The post was even better, and not just because it pictures her 3 year old and an EasyLunchbox lunch
“…it’s hard. It’s hard to tear down the veneer that writing from behind a computer gives — and yet, it’s such a necessary process. Necessary for the readers, and necessary for the author. I try to be honest as I write, but sometimes I think it gets glossed over. I mentioned my recent breakdown over nighttime sleep related to our changes in nursing, but I’m not sure if people really experience it the way it happened — the fear and the yelling and the meanness and the overreacting. Here is a post to say it again: I am not a perfect parent. And also: Oh, well.”
Why I am not as fabulous a parent as my blog suggests is a terrific read. You’ll hear from Lauren and others in a refreshingly honest way.
Most of the things you read on my website and this blog, not to mention what you see in my videos, would lead you to believe that I always wear heels and an apron in the kitchen, where I enjoy every. single. minute of packing perfectly balanced rainbow colored lunches for my children, in between sharing household and parenting tips with my fans via every social media platform on the planet. My lipstick is red and my smile is bright to welcome my husband, who sweeps in with roses from our garden which has not one piece of fence that needs mending. And when I broke my arm last year, all 3 of my kids rushed to the rescue and took over every one of my chores and obligations. Without being asked.
Ok. Confession time folks
(Thanks for the inspiration Lauren) – I often work in my pajamas till mid-afternoon, sometimes I’m so busy I don’t even wash my face till I go to bed at night (that’s so gross), I pretty much can’t stand cooking (even though I do it and I’m fairly good at it), the girls pretty much hate helping around the house , and I’m way too often short with them and the hubby. In fact, I don’t spend nearly as much time with them as I should, simply because I’m working. What’s THAT about? Of course family is more important than work she said while typing this post, listening to all of them in the other room without me.
Yes, I’m that bad. I am working at doing a lot better. BUT – the times that I actually DO show up, whether they really need me to or not, I’ll admit, I’ve actually earned a few “Best Mom” titles. I just know I should do more to earn more.
It’s a LOT easier to write about the happy and helpful things we do. Sharing the sweet moments and smiling faces. It’s a lot harder to share the real moments we all have of frustration and anger, describing the things we say and do that we wish we could take back. But maybe it’s a good thing to put it in writing. Maybe it can give all of us a different perspective on our actions and how they affect our kids.
Do YOU write about stuff that isn’t pretty? How does that affect you?